It's clear to see I'm a style icon; remember, you can't spell icon without 'con'.

My goal in this book isn't to tell anyone how they should dress or how they should do their hair or makeup or even what poop bags to purchase.

Trust me, I'm not stylish. I'm self-aware. I'm not polished, I'm perceptive. I'm not trendy, I'm trying. I LOVE fashion and style as much as the next lady, man or French bulldog, but telling people how they should look doesn't suit me. I know I have no authority in that department (I barely even shop in department stores). Instead, this is a look at own silly and yet practical approach to style - don't worry, I've already been restricted to no more than two chapters on sweatpants.

This book is one part parody, one part irreverent fashion fun, and one part personal experience. Imagine if Lauren Conrad's book Lauren Conrad Style loosened its modest, but pricey (because it's an investment piece!!) Banana Republic belt a few notches… It'd still probably think this guide is completely dumb, but hey, this book is about pretending you've got style & grace and making no apologies for having fun.