Ever meet a hot billionaire while your hand's in a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores?

No? So it really is just me. Hmm.

When you're a mystery shopper, you get paid to humiliate yourself, all in the name of improving customer service. Romance isn't in my job description. But the day I met Declan McCormick it was love at first flush.

Until I nearly castrated him with my EpiPen.

How Hot Guy and Toilet Girl became an item involves my crazy mom, a trip to the ER, my homicidal cat, my fake wife, and true love.

Don't look at me like that. I'm just doing my job.

I'm shopping for a billionaire.