For months, I've tried to stop loving her. Begged myself in the darkness of the night as I lay awake, to let her go.

So badly, I've wanted to move on from the hurt inside and the love I still cling to, but I can't. Telling myself not to love her is like telling myself to stop breathing.

Impossible. Unfathomable.

But watching her prepare to marry another man is like a searing knife to the heart that keeps twisting.

Beginning a new life in California seemed like the only option, but seeing her while I lie in my hospital bed, I can sense something is amiss.

What should be a beautiful reunion feels like goodbye. And I'm not ready to let her go.

Contains mature themes.