HOW TO PANIC?

Want to panic like a professional? Very simple!

First, imagine something small is a very big problem. A tiny sound? Definitely a ghost. Phone battery 5%? Life is over. One missed call? World War 3 has started.

Walk fast for no reason. Breathe like you just ran a marathon. Open the fridge and forget why you opened it. Check your pockets 10 times to see if your phone is there — while talking on the phone.

Ask everyone, “Did you hear that?” even when there is complete silence.

Finally, sit down dramatically and say, “Everything is finished!”

Congratulations. You are now officially panicking for no reason.

Über dieses Buch

Want to panic like a professional? Very simple!

First, imagine something small is a very big problem. A tiny sound? Definitely a ghost. Phone battery 5%? Life is over. One missed call? World War 3 has started.

Walk fast for no reason. Breathe like you just ran a marathon. Open the fridge and forget why you opened it. Check your pockets 10 times to see if your phone is there — while talking on the phone.

Ask everyone, “Did you hear that?” even when there is complete silence.

Finally, sit down dramatically and say, “Everything is finished!”

Congratulations. You are now officially panicking for no reason.

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