Daft as a brush? At last Paul Gascoigne reveals everything you really wanted to know about football: the Waddle haircut and how to achieve it; how to do the two-step with Vinny Jones; and why Spurs can win the League. Gazza also offers handy hints on improving your skills in goal celebration, after-match interviews and Geordie for beginners and shares the truth behind the scandal of Kevin Keegan's missing boot ... This is truly a book of two halves.