This entire thing started because of a faulty tree.

Becoming a homeowner is not all it's cracked up to be, let me tell you that right now. Especially in the dead of winter, when apparently trees can just fall in the middle of a suburban neighborhood.

Did my next-door neighbor help me remove said tree? No, he did not . . . So, really . . . he left me no choice. I broke into his house.

While I only intended to steal a little warmth and maybe a cup of coffee, I fell victim to his jacuzzi tub. But he returned early and that's really when things went south.

Instead of a cold glare or icy reply, all of which I fully expected from my disagreeable neighbor.

Colson Hanes offered to make me breakfast. Then he asked me to stay . . .

Contains mature themes.