Johnny Anonymous is a four-year offensive lineman for the NFL. Before that, he played for a major college program and in his senior year was named one of the top linemen in the nation. In his spare time, he’s earned a master’s degree in sarcasm from Getting Fucked University. During the off-season, he moonlights as a professional asshole. Under another pseudonym, he’s also a contributor for the comedy powerhouse Funny Or Die.