Misanthrope, n.:

1.) One who hates mankind; a curmudgeon; a loner;

2.) The guy in your office who responded to your e-mail of baby photos with "D-. Passing, but not college material";

3.) A Realist

From The Misanthrope's Guide to Life

In this guide, you'll learn how to get away from the pain-in-the-asses who make you seriously consider investing in a fallout shelter and making it your new home. You'll take isolated comfort in these survival strategies, including how to:

Conduct managed incoherence to get the delivery boy from the lobby to your door Take a "French leave" in order to eat alone at work Get ousted from your kickball league by dressing as Magnum, P.I. for every game Get back at the jerk yapping on his cell phone by reciting the lyrics to Harry Chapin's version of "Cat's in the Cradle" End a conversation by "Gwynething" (also known as playing the "I'm delightfully foreign" act) someone to death

This is the survival guide you will be annoyed not to have.