I rarely went out, because I always had her in mind, as she suffered, even though I was sure she did not notice my presence. I felt trapped in this tragedy, a never-ending situation. I had ordered myself to be free and I would do it! I would break in every way the bonds of sadness that surrounded me from the first years of my life.
The image of my parents had rusted inside me. I was afraid to open up to a relationship. Everyone thought I did it out of pride, but I avoided the fear of a possible failure,