Reckless choices,

a whirlwind of desire,

is that what love is?

I thought I knew who I was until the death of my sister.

Does anyone know who they are when they lose the foundation of their world? To fill the emptiness, I feeling into the void of Las Vegas. I tried at first to be the person I was before, the “good girl,” but I needed more.

That’s when I met them, Ryder and Zack in the same night. I had to get closer to Ryder, my body felt magnetically drawn to him, but with each step I fought the initial pull. I couldn’t trust my impulses; they were telling me to give myself to him, and I didn’t even know him.

When Zack kissed me, later that night, I pulled away breathless, hypnotized, and unsteady. The months following were a whirlwind of desire and reckless choices I’d never in my life thought I’d take.