The Earthquake Bird

This was an oddly, little novel about an oddly, peculiar woman with a dark past. This might be one of those books you either hate or like. For the record, I have to mention that I actually did not liked it that much at first. But I changed my mind. Lucy Fly speaks fluent Japanese and works as a translator in Tokyo. She is from England, but went to Japan because it was as far away from her home country as possible. In Tokyo, she meets the photographer, Teiji, a man of few words. He likes to take pictures of her, but she does not get to see these photographs, they are hidden in a box. Until Lucy's curiosity forces her to peek at his pictures behind his back. Something she should deeply regret. Because then, she sees something she does not want to see, which burns into her retina like a wound. She does not want to understand what she actually saw in the photograph, what Teiji has actually photographed with his beloved camera. To protect her, Lucy's brain denies it. Lucy and Teiji's relationship is more of a fuck-friend-relationship. Lucy eventually discovers that she may feel more for Teiji than she thought. When a woman from her home country enters their lives, the relationship between them becomes increasingly complicated. It ends in murder. The atmosphere in the book is unpleasant. Being in Lucy's head is unpleasant. She has been exposed to many unpleasant things in her childhood and her parents have not been like parents at all; Lucy is a result of child abuse neglect, but does not necessarily understand this herself. She does not see herself from the outside, and does not understand what she has actually been exposed to as a child. This characterizes her life as an adult. Lucy is very bad at understanding people's intentions. Her brain has somehow disconnected her ability to see when people are abusing her. Still, she has managed to find her own thing in Japan, because there, she gets to be in her own bubble. A safe place. A continuation of her denial. The book is written in first person, but occasionally switches to a third person-form. Some readers may find this confusing, but I thought it was natural. Here's why: Lucy's brain most likely separated her current self from her previous self, precisely to protect her. Lucy simply has to think about herself in the third person when she thinks about the past, because this creates a distance between now and then, and makes it "livable" for her to relate to. If Lucy actually goes into the past and thoroughly analyzes what has happened to her, she will just be paralyzed and have to be home from the job she loves. Therefore, it becomes very interesting when a woman from Lucy's hometown in England appears in her life and tears up Lucy's past, forcing her to remember the past she would rather have at a distance. Lucy becomes a suspected for murder, which raises an earthquake of questions in her: who exactly are all those people in her life? Does she hurt them, or is she a victim? What impact has she really had on them? Was it really all her fault? Who started the quake? I found this book quite difficult to review. At first, I gave it 3.5 stars, simply because I thought the plot was weird. But after some thought, I realized that The Earthquake Bird made a bigger impression on me than I first thought. It turned out that I actually loved it. The book is written in a smart way, you have to think between the lines to understand the whole story, the characters are complex, and no one is who they really pretend to be. Highly recommended if you like psychological suspense. Now, I think The Earthquake Bird deserves 5 stars. Why? Because Lucy Fly is still murmuring in my forehead like a burning mystery I can not forget. She turned out to be an unforgettable "creature" I cared about and sympathized with.