A social media trial can break you. There were 100,000 tweets of abuse for days on end, all premised on a set of untruths pushed by someone hugely powerful because he had played for the national team. Against the entitled, I never stood a chance. The online trial forced me and the family to draw on every last bit of inner strength, and yet left permanent scars.
Having served the ban, I wanted closure in the form of this book. But no one knows better that there will never be a full stop. I will not get back the two years of opportunities that I lost, or the days and evenings when I was almost a stranger to my daughter. For two years, my wife and I never had a quiet dinner where we could just relax. There was not one evening when we didn’t discuss the issue and the book. Which outsider can quantify the impact it had on the mental health of my family? On my wife, my mother, my sister and my daughter? I became cynical about a number of things, and it will be tough to change that.
Writing this book and putting the truth out there has drained and exhausted me. The truth is that the falsehoods piled up against me, ratified by all-knowing social media trolls, changed my life and that of my family. There is no going back to what we were. This was our Long Covid.
