The First Creatured Mission

Although HAM was the first US astronaut, at one point in history it seemed inevitable that the first deep space pilots would be humans. Of course, we know that things didn't work out that way. This is the story as it unfolded, included the real story of Tolan's flight and his dirty jokes. This is the story of space exploration gone different.

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In the entire history of space exploration to that time, missions had been divided into "manned" and "unmanned." Given the flights of Ham and Tolan, the nomenclature was clearly misleading and inappropriate. But for the short hops they made, no one had made a fuss about it (and, in the barbaric age of Ham’s flight, the feelings and sensibilities of other primates hadn’t even been seriously considered).

The advent of Clyde Ector as the astronaut, and the prestige of the mission—the fact that the craft would be carrying a sentient being who was not a "man" into deep space for the first time—precipitated a new crisis over the mission terminology. You may recall the angst that was aired at the time. Clearly, a change was necessary, as "manned" was inaccurate and no one at all was interested in "primated" missions, especially with the looming possibility of the future inclusion of other, non-primate, species. After many polls, committee meetings, and global summit conferences, the term "creatured" was adopted. While no one really liked the term, it offended no one and was, therefore, deemed the least bad. Thus, by definition, it was a political triumph, if a linguistic abomination. Fortunately, linguists, as a group, do not tend to vote.