Ronan Boyle

Detective Ronan Boyle’s To-Do List • Fight the Leprechaun Navy on their own turf • Deliver Crom Cruach, undead bog man, to Raghall, King of the Leprechauns • Reorder dog diapers (XL) • Follow Seamus McSheehy, Earth’s finest living dancer, into the Strangeplace and stop his evil scheme to become a god of Irish dance (time permitting) • DO NOT FALL IN LOVE with Captain de Valera, despite her vibe, self-confidence, and cool new haircut • PROVE PARENTS’ INNOCENCE, STOP LORD DESMOND DOOLEY, FIND A DECENT PLACE FOR LUNCH WITH VEGETARIAN OPTIONS (not in that exact order) • Get new shillelagh and beret for “hot leprechaun summer” • Pay down the 7803 euros in fees owed to the Special Unit of Tir na Nog • Maybe DO profess love to Captain de Valera? No—bury that down deep andlater write a sad series of plays about it • Rescue PIERRE THE FAR DARRIG! (If he’s even still alive?!)