Mark Twain was commissioned to deliver this speech before the virgin voyage of the St. Paul steamship. On the day of its scheduled departure from Philadelphia to England, however, it could not be moved. Had Twain delivered it, this is among the charming witticisms he would have shared: “I have gone over the same road so many times now that I know all the whales that belong along the route, and latterly it is an embarrassment to me to meet them, for they do not look glad to see me, but annoyed, and they seem to say: ‘Here is this old derelict again.’” Enjoy reading this speech that was formerly lost to the public ear.