The acclaimed humorist explains how to make a tiny person in only nine months—with tools you probably have around the house!

For decades, beloved humorist Dave Barry has tackled the major tribulations—not to mention the petty annoyances—of everyday life. In Babies and Other Hazards of Sex, Barry offers his wacky perspective on sex, childbirth, parenting, and other forms of slow, cruel torture. For instance, Dave exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960s that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. He also examines the federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prisons—to laugh, cry, love, and just generally behave like certified wimps. Dave also reveals the secret chant for painless childbirth—and then explains why no secret chant could possibly take a woman's mind off the fact that she is in such pain that she wants a gigantic comet to crash into the earth, killing her husband, her doctor, the nurses in attendance—and everyone else in the world. Before you take on a lifetime liability—without the possibility of returning it for a full refund—listen to this hilarious recording, and don't say Dave didn't warn you!