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Cece Reyes dumped her boyfriend for one unforgivable reason: he refuses to eat durian.

So when Shane Yates overhears her on the phone bragging that she's "got five, and they're all big," he draws the obvious conclusion, posts about it on the campus confession board, and declares her the biggest cheater in school history. The whole university picks a side. A law student volunteers to adjudicate. Cece, who was in fact describing the five glorious pods inside her durian, decides the situation calls for total war.

What follows: a slipper to the face, two concussions, a fake-nice rival, a heartfelt kidnapping, and one ex-boyfriend so determined to win her back that he starts smuggling durians through subway X-ray machines to find her a perfect one—then vomits trying to eat it.

Love stinks. Gloriously.

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