"A brave and lyrical exploration of motherhood and mental health . . . as terrifying as it is riveting." —Susannah Cahalan, NYT bestselling author of Brain on Fire

Early motherhood is supposed to be joyous, but for Aaisha Alvi those early days were ruined by terrifying thoughts about her baby and family. Her experience was the antithesis of everything she had ever been told about motherhood, far beyond the trials of breastfeeding or putting her baby to sleep.

Aaisha did recover and began to enjoy motherhood. She was thrilled when she fell pregnant again. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and the psychosis returned. This time, however, she was blindsided by the unimaginable: voices urged her to stab her daughter and to harm innocent people. Aaisha felt evil, worthy of taking her own life. But each time she sought medical help, she was turned away.

With unflinching honesty, Aaisha takes listeners beyond the vitriol and blame that is flung at women suffering from postpartum psychosis—particularly women of color. Hers is a clarion call for increased awareness of a condition that need never result in tragedy.